I started this blog to share the good news of "baby westhoff" who was due to arrive in August of 2008, but that came to a tragic end. I considered shutting it down a few months ago because it just didn't seem to serve a purpose anymore. And it turns out, spending 5 hours in front of your computer every night is NOT the way to tell your husband, "hey. I really love you. I want to spend all kinds of time with you. Just hold on one second while I fret over this extra thing that I threw in to our lives because it once served a purpose and now I'm not sure if it does but I'm not a quitter so I'll be right there when I'm done writing about how much fun we had in Mexico. I love you!"
So...it is with much joy that I share the exciting news that Ryan and I have decided to begin the adoption process! The babywesthoff blog will chronicle the journey we are about to take as we build our family, one little miracle at a time. We've decided to do domestic adoption through an agency called Adoption Network Law Center. We contacted them in May 2008, but changed our minds after the very first contact by phone. It became obvious to us that we were in the bargaining stages of grief. We honestly believed that we would magically become pregnant the minute we decided to adopt (because that's what everyone tells you to do when they find out you're having trouble.) The lady on the phone was like, "hey! we could match you in as little as 3 months" and we sort of flipped out. We were used to long, painful processes full of disappointment and rejection. What is this 3 months business? We weren't ready.
After our trip to Chicago last year, I endured 9 months of acupuncture, 40 blood-thinner shots to the abdomen, $9,000 worth of fertility testing and countless pills to realize that we were done. And if somebody on the other end of the phone said, "hey! your baby is arriving tomorrow" we would absolutely leap for joy. We would be READY! And we couldn't have said that 19 months ago. We would do anything to hear a baby's laughter in this house. It's the reason we bought this house. It's the reason we live in a neighborhood full of kids, next to a park, in the best school district in Kansas. But for whatever reason, my body is refusing to cooperate.
I don't know what to expect from this process, but I'm excited to find out. I'm ready to do the research and talk to people who have been through it. Our next step appears to be providing some "marketing" materials to the Law Center so their network of expecting mothers can choose the right family for her baby. Hopefully, we are as good on paper as we are in real life! :)