Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Good job, MTV!!

I just watched an episode of Teen Mom on MTV, followed by An Adoption Special, hosted by Dr. Drew. And while there are millions of people in the world who think the show is REALLY stupid and it totally glorifies teen pregnancy, I feel compelled to show my support for the segments they've produced on adoption. I fully admit there was not a single thing about 16 and Pregnant that interested me...especially during the 5 years we spent trying (and failing) to become pregnant. There was no effing way I was going to watch a show where teenagers complained about their "unfortunate situations" while I was enduring painful shots, tests, treatments and therapy to experience just one second of their success.  But a staff member at Adoption Network Law Center alerted me to a very special couple on that show who were placing their child for adoption and telling a beautiful, compelling, and positive adoption story. Caitlin and Tyler continue to be inspiring examples of how adoption changes lives for good.

So many moms on that show (and elsewhere in the world) express, "I could never do that. I could never give my child up for adoption." The special actually took a second to focus on positive adoption language and the impact it can have on a child. We all understand the statement, but the language is critical. I don't want Luke to ever feel like somebody "gave him up" or "gave him away". He wasn't a stinky pair of shoes that somebody donated to Goodwill. He was a perfect, long-awaited, cherished gift who deserved more than our birth mom could provide. So she made a plan. She made a choice. And she gave him a chance.

And I thank God every day that she did.

Every adoption story is different and I am grateful to Teen Mom for showing that adoption is not "giving up". It's actually one of the most loving, wonderful, maternal things a woman can do for her baby. While our birth mom was challenging and our adoption story was nothing short of a circus, she did an amazing thing for us. And I will continue to be an advocate for adoption and emphatically show my support for the women who make this incredible choice.

Hooray to Teen Mom. Hooray to MTV. And hooray to birth moms everywhere.


Geneva said...

I agree! Actually, I think the whole show is a good thing - I don't see it as glorifying teen motherhood, so much as showing the consequences of having a baby before you are emotionally or financially or relationally equipped to handle it. Almost none of the couples who are "so in love" at 16 stay together after the baby is born.

I am adopted (by my dad), as are three of my siblings (by both mom and dad), and I don't think enough can ever be said about what an amazing, wonderful gift it is. My biological father was a terrible human being, but he did something right - he knew I would be much better off with my dad, so he signed the papers and gave me a real father. My sisters each came from different situations, but each of them had birth parents who willingly gifted them with a family and a good life. That's so huge.

I admire you for your entire attitude toward Luke's birth mother, as well as for the fantastic, beautiful family full of love that you are providing for that gorgeous boy. Yay, you!

raegann said...

well said Ash. I too think that show is ridiculous TV, but LOVE the story about Tyler and Caitlin. Mainly b/c they did something RIGHT and are being rewarded for it. Both by MTV and their daughters parents. I only watch episodes with them in it b/c it is a feel good story, and THAT's what I'm looking for. Congrats to all!