To my darling boy,
It's like you knew. With all of the swirling craziness going on around you, you decided to just be awesome and remain calm. Four pounds. Six weeks early. The odds were stacked against you, but you decided to thrive. It's like you knew we needed some part of this journey to go right - and you could hardly wait to show us, "It was totally worth it". Just by being you - the precious, darling boy who sleeps for 5 hours straight and eats like a champ - you let peace and snuggles and kisses float in to this house like rays of sunshine. We have waited such a long time to hear your little squeaks and hold your little hand. Every expert in the world would tell me to lay you down when you fall asleep, but I just can't. I could hold you in my arms forever. It helps that you only weigh 6 pounds right now, but still - watching you yawn and smirk and dream just makes my heart happy. I've never held a baby so precious in all my life and I spend every minute of my day trying to capture the stillness and perfection of your darling, sleeping face.
I love that you already snore like a little old man. I love that your feet are 3 inches long. I love that you already know my voice. I love that your eyes flutter when I wash your hair. I love that you are instantly happy when we give you a bottle. I love the crazy, voracious way you eat. I love that your burps stink but your diapers don't. I love that you have an entire closet full of clothes that don't fit you yet. I love that your entire forehead wrinkles when you raise your eyebrows. I love that you attract attention everywhere you go. I love that you are gaining weight every single day. I love it when people comment about how tiny (and lucky) you are. I love that you didn't cry during your first doctor's visit, your first airplane ride, or your first Catholic wedding, but you cried at the sound of Carrie Underwood's voice on the radio. I love that you make squeaky chipmunk sounds when your mouth finds your pacifier. I love that your entire body shakes when you hiccup. I love your tiny little baby sneezes. I love telling people your adoption story. I love it even more when people already know your story and they know how much strength and courage and love it took to get you here.
You are a miracle, Luke.
And we've only just begun to show you how much we love you.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
IT'S OFFICIAL!!!!
While our birthmother gave us quite a scare yesterday, in the end - she did NOT revoke consent. (hooray!) She sent us a text message at 6:08pm (our time) to say:
"this is [kelly]...no need to reply. i just wanted to thank yall for everything and im sorry about all the unpleasant things..i wish yall all the best."
Unpleasant things? I wish you the best?
Are you kidding me?
Ryan said, "I feel like we were just mugged in the alley. Someone held a knife to our throats, took all of our money, then apologized for the 'unpleasant' situation and told us to have a nice day."
We didn't reply. There was nothing to say. It was impossible to form thoughts. Besides, anything that came out of my mouth (or itchy texting fingers) would have been ugly, unnecessary, and thoroughly regretable.
It doesn't mean I haven't thought about it all day or texted things and then deleted them without sending, but it's over and done. No need to reply.
LUKE IS OURS!!!!!!
And that's all that matters.
"this is [kelly]...no need to reply. i just wanted to thank yall for everything and im sorry about all the unpleasant things..i wish yall all the best."
Unpleasant things? I wish you the best?
Are you kidding me?
Ryan said, "I feel like we were just mugged in the alley. Someone held a knife to our throats, took all of our money, then apologized for the 'unpleasant' situation and told us to have a nice day."
We didn't reply. There was nothing to say. It was impossible to form thoughts. Besides, anything that came out of my mouth (or itchy texting fingers) would have been ugly, unnecessary, and thoroughly regretable.
It doesn't mean I haven't thought about it all day or texted things and then deleted them without sending, but it's over and done. No need to reply.
LUKE IS OURS!!!!!!
And that's all that matters.
Monday, September 20, 2010
a special place in hell
Well...it's actually happening. Kelly wants more money. She knows this is day 10 and she is using Luke as leverage. Mary called us to say she'd received no less than 100 texts this weekend from Kelly, threatening to revoke consent if she doesn't get some help. She told Mary, "If I can't have Sophie, then I might as well have [Luke]." Unbelievable.
Actually...I CAN believe it. At this point, I think it's what we all secretly expected, we just didn't want to believe she would really go through with it. We didn't want to believe there were people like this in the world. Our sweet, innocent boy could be ripped away from us out of spite. Kelly doesn't want him. She just wants money. And if she can't be happy, then she doesn't want us to be happy. She knows exactly what she's doing. She's not dumb. She's figured out how to survive on this earth for 37 years without a job, a home, a car, a family or a dime to feed herself, so we're not dealing with an amateur. We're just not willing to call her bluff when it comes to our son.
It's not like she's going to get custody of Luke - that's not the problem. Sophie has already been taken away and she's taking medication for depression (and going to therapy). No court in their right mind would grant her custody of a pre-mature newborn. But what they can say is that it was unethical of us not to financially support Kelly's efforts to go to therapy and get her life back together. Of course we want her to get treatment and we want her life to improve (especially if she's just going to keep getting pregnant and putting other couples through what we've been through). What is hard to stomach is the fact that (according to Kelly), we didn't show her enough compassion. We didn't treat her with enough respect. In short, we didn't send her a big bag of money after Luke was born and say, "thanks for the kid. Here's everything you'll need for the next 5 years. It's been a pleasure working with you." Incredibly illegal, but what does she care? She's an extortionist.
We have until midnight tonight for this nightmare to end. Kelly can send a letter in the mail to Ronnie, post-marked today, and that would be it. Luke would go to foster care and we'd have to fly back to Georgia and fight for him. Ronnie was going to work from home today but decided to be in the office all day in case it came back that she was "unavailable to her client". While I totally support birthmother rights and I don't want to seem callous, it is completely insane to me that we are all bending to the whims of a crazy person. She has all of the power and she knows it. And I'm sorry, but I just don't know if I have enough forgiveness in my heart for her. I can take pity on her and I can pray for her, but it's going to take a long time to forgive her for using innocent children as bargaining chips.
Besides, there's a NICE way to ask for money and then there's a shitty way to do it. She picked the only way that could make everyone simultaneously outraged. When it's all said and done, I don't know how Kelly can feel good about the way she handled herself. We're going to pretend we did the right thing because we have a conscience. We can't say the same for her.
Actually...I CAN believe it. At this point, I think it's what we all secretly expected, we just didn't want to believe she would really go through with it. We didn't want to believe there were people like this in the world. Our sweet, innocent boy could be ripped away from us out of spite. Kelly doesn't want him. She just wants money. And if she can't be happy, then she doesn't want us to be happy. She knows exactly what she's doing. She's not dumb. She's figured out how to survive on this earth for 37 years without a job, a home, a car, a family or a dime to feed herself, so we're not dealing with an amateur. We're just not willing to call her bluff when it comes to our son.
It's not like she's going to get custody of Luke - that's not the problem. Sophie has already been taken away and she's taking medication for depression (and going to therapy). No court in their right mind would grant her custody of a pre-mature newborn. But what they can say is that it was unethical of us not to financially support Kelly's efforts to go to therapy and get her life back together. Of course we want her to get treatment and we want her life to improve (especially if she's just going to keep getting pregnant and putting other couples through what we've been through). What is hard to stomach is the fact that (according to Kelly), we didn't show her enough compassion. We didn't treat her with enough respect. In short, we didn't send her a big bag of money after Luke was born and say, "thanks for the kid. Here's everything you'll need for the next 5 years. It's been a pleasure working with you." Incredibly illegal, but what does she care? She's an extortionist.
We have until midnight tonight for this nightmare to end. Kelly can send a letter in the mail to Ronnie, post-marked today, and that would be it. Luke would go to foster care and we'd have to fly back to Georgia and fight for him. Ronnie was going to work from home today but decided to be in the office all day in case it came back that she was "unavailable to her client". While I totally support birthmother rights and I don't want to seem callous, it is completely insane to me that we are all bending to the whims of a crazy person. She has all of the power and she knows it. And I'm sorry, but I just don't know if I have enough forgiveness in my heart for her. I can take pity on her and I can pray for her, but it's going to take a long time to forgive her for using innocent children as bargaining chips.
Besides, there's a NICE way to ask for money and then there's a shitty way to do it. She picked the only way that could make everyone simultaneously outraged. When it's all said and done, I don't know how Kelly can feel good about the way she handled herself. We're going to pretend we did the right thing because we have a conscience. We can't say the same for her.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
one more day
We have until midnight tomorrow for our birthmother to revoke consent. Not that we think she will...it's just on our minds. The last few weeks with Kelly have been rough. First, she threatened to leave town (on the night she was supposed to sign the papers to surrender her parental rights...the same papers she was supposed to sign after giving birth, but she couldn't because she was on too much pain medication). Then we got a call from Tony (from Kelly's phone) that Kelly was back in the hospital with high blood pressure (225/124)...no doubt the result of Tony's rational behavior and prudence. The next day, our attorney called to say, "I am meeting BOTH of them at the hospital at 3:30 to sign the papers." Ryan and I were in the process of filling out Luke's discharge papers when we got this text message (and please ignore the fact that I'm totally breaking my rule and exposing her real name):
A part of me still wants to hang this photo in Luke's room. It made both of us cry, which made the nurse cry.
It was official! The papers were signed!! And our 10-day wait (the Georgia revocation law) could begin. We were thrilled. We snapped this photo (and yes...that's a tear-filled kleenex in my hand):
As we sat in the NICU gathering up Luke's stuff, we caught a glimpse of Tony and Kelly walking out of the hospital. She was wearing a pair of pajama pants, the t-shirt Tony was wearing two days ago, and a pair of hospital slipper-socks. They did not appear to be getting along:
I took my phone in to the next room where our favorite nurse (Janice) was caring for a set of premie twins. I showed her the text message from Kelly. She hugged me and congratulated us on our beautiful baby boy. I thanked her for everything she'd done for Luke. As I walked back in to Luke's room I noticed it was pouring down rain. (as a side note: It rained on our wedding day. It rained on our honeymoon. It rained on the day we moved in to our first house. Rain was sort of our thing.) It hadn't rained in Georgia for 3 weeks, but it rained on the day we became parents!!!! It rained for about 5 minutes. Just long enough for us to get the message "this was meant to be" from the heavens above.
We thanked the staff and got Luke all bundled up and ready to go. He looked ridiculously tiny in his car seat:
We brought Luke back to Aunt Sarah's condo (my sister-in-law) and planned to stay there indefinitely. We were told that the ICPC process could take 5-7 days and we had to stay in town with Luke until we were cleared.
Over the next 48 hours, we hosted Ryan's brother, Chad:
Ryan's parents, Bev and Wayne:
And we began enduring hateful, strange, bi-polar text messages from Kelly:
If I would have known i would be sitting in a hotelwithout a dime to feed my child...i never would have done this...what hapened to after care? mary knows i have nothing...i thought provisions were gonna be made after for me and [sophie]. i cant believe.im having to plead for help 9:36pm 9/10/10
i have lost alot because of this...including probably my [sophie]...This week in the hospital was awful...i just thought everyone really cared about mine and [sophie]s well being...i shouldnt even have to ask for help now..i thought it was an automatic thing..i really feel used and discarded 9:39pm 9/10/10
I texted her immediately, "what happened? Is everything okay?" I never heard back.
Saturday afternoon, we got the following text messages:
Is there any way someone can bring me something to feed [sophie] with...i hate to ask but mary said their accountant left early on friday and i have absolutely nothing to feed [sophie] with and we are in a hotel all alone and i have nothing to feed her...i also cant get my blood pressure medicine...i hate to ask but its what it is 11:01am 9/11/10
I responded:
Wait...what happened to the $50 we gave [Amanda] for [Sophie], the $50 we gave [Tony] for gas, the $90 in gift cards, the $100 Kroger cards, and the $100 worth of stuff we bought you at Rite-Aid?11:05am 9/11/10
U know...i never saw a dime of that money..i got 2 15 dollar kroger cards...the mistake was giving that stuff to [tony]...now me and [sophie] have nothing...i was in hospital and had no control of anything...i would think mary would have told u that [tony] claimed that for himself... 12:26pm 9/11/10
I wish yall would have given the cards to me because he spent them on his gas and things he needed...now [sophie] and i are going without even eating...do u think i would make this up?its degrading to even have to ask...you all knew how [tony] was...i just wish yall would have dealt with me 12:29pm 9/11/10
We decided to call Mary. We explained about all of the hateful, guilt-laden text messages. Mary said, "I talked to her for 3 hours yesterday!! I asked her if she needed anything for the weekend and she said she was all set!!! She was all excited about a job interview on Sunday and she said everything was going great!" Mary sounded incredibly frustrated. From the very beginning, Kelly has always had a direct number to contact Mary whenever she needed her. And Mary assured us that she has always replied to Kelly every single time. Mary was supposed to be the one in control of the trust account for Kelly so there was no reason for Kelly to be contacting us about money. Especially when we'd just handed over about $400 worth of stuff on Monday. Mary could prove to us that she was on the phone with Kelly for 3 hours the day before - and that she made a special point of asking if she needed anything for the weekend. We told Mary we weren't sure how to respond to Kelly at this point. We didn't want to make her angry or argue with her, but this whole, "I don't have a dime to feed my child" stuff was getting old. We gave her money! How was it our fault that Tony stole it? We couldn't keep doing this with her.
Mary told us that Sophie was (for sure) being taken away by the state. She was going to live with Amanda on Monday, so Kelly was probably in a panic. She has to prove that she is "exercising proper parental care" before she can get her daughter back. Mary said she was sorry she wasn't in the office (it was a Saturday) but she would send money from the trust account first thing Monday morning. Meanwhile, I was still getting hateful text messages:
All [sophie] and i have been through and i cant even feed her...what a shame...this was poorly organized..sorry but this is what has happened 12:31pm 9/11/10
U know..im sorry [tony] took advantage of yall...i tried to warn everybody...hes all about himself...i dont know if yall even know this but i didnt even get all of my pain meds. the day yall bought my scripts..i have been taken advantage of by him and it breaks my heart to no end..especially for [sophie]...i cant believe he would do this to me either but at least im used to it 12:52pm 9/11/10
I decided to call Kelly. Enough was enough. It went right to voicemail (because she's too chicken to say this stuff directly to me...she has to send it in a text message). I told her that the hospital told us not to contact her, so we thought we were doing the right thing by going through Tony. We were sorry she didn't get any of the money we gave her. This is the first time we've ever done this and we were just doing what we thought was right. Then I asked her to call me so we could figure out a way to get her something to eat. Maybe have something delivered.
sorry i missed your call...can u call me in this room? the number is [###] and im in room 161...this cell phone isnt working right 1:31pm 9/11/10
We called the room but it said it's not in service. Ryan is talking to the hotel manager now.
Sorry...but im done begging for a little help..its degrading and i shouldnt be having to do it..This whole process was unprofessional...there should have been arrangements made for me and [sophie]...but there wasnt...i even have 2 prescriptions i cant get...what i need is a card that i can use...nomore calling yall for each thing i may need...i will not embarrass myself again..i hjave been through too much 1:44pm 9/11/10
Where are you in the city? We can come meet you.
U know i dont even want to see yall again because evbery time i do i feel more and more like a piece of garbage..mentally i cant handle this anymore...i shouldnt have to deal with yall...mary should have taken care of all of this..im taking [sophie] to mcdonalds to play..she needs to get out 1:49pm 9/11/10
Do you know how frustrating it is to keep giving you money when [Tony] just steals it? We are trying to do the right thing, but we have no idea how to make you happy.
Do you know how hard itis to have to ask yall for money to eat and get prescriptions..mary should have settled everything..and do u know how hard it was to be nice to [tony] so he would sign papers to give u a child? I have been used and abiused...just so he wouldnt cause me a problem...now its over almost...hes out of the pic...and now i need help. everyone is pissed...what about my feelings 2:39pm 9/11/10
Im at mcdonalds letting [sophie] play.. 2:45pm 9/11/10
Ryan is coming to meet you.
I am at the mcdonalds right near the hotel letting [sophie] play..i couldnt just make her sit there...so yall need to let me know what u want to do 3:03pm 9/11/10
Tell him im at the mcdonalds right near the hotel 3:05pm 9/11/10
He knows.
Ryan met Kelly at McDonald's and gave her a $50 gift card for groceries and a $20 McDonald's gift card to get her through the weekend. We didn't like it, but we didn't know what else to do. She still had the power to revoke consent and we didn't want to risk it. Minutes after he got home, Ryan got a text message from Kelly.
Thanks...sorry u had to deal with all of this. Thanks for thinking of [sophie] with the mcdonalds gift card.
We didn't hear anything else from Kelly until Tuesday night - the night we flew home. I was in the back seat of my mom's car (having just been welcomed home by an army of hugs and smiling faces) when I got these text messages from Kelly:
Just to let you all know...i dont appreciate how yall spoke to me the other day..its not my fault yall gave [tony] stuff instead of me..why shoul me and [sophie] suffer for your mistake..i will be calling ronnie fishbine tomorrow because i dont appreciate being left out here alone to begfor help 5:35pm 9/14/10
This adoption was handled very unprofessional and i tried to make it easy but begging people to help pay for my second blood pressure meds and food to eat was degrading and uncalled for..im not as dumb a person as yall think i am...well see what happens 5:40pm 9/14/10
I didn't respond at all. I didn't even know what to say. What a horrible, ungrateful human being. Now she's threatening us? After all we've been through with her - moving her from place to place - going out of our way to make sure she's comfortable and treated with respect - firing our lawyer in Topeka because she didn't like the way he talked to her and moving her in the middle of the night - meeting her crazy friend and insane boyfriend at Burger King on a random Sunday afternoon after they threatened to "make things difficult" for us - cleaning up the disaster of a room she left us in Kansas City - answering her every text and phonecall with kindness and generosity....now she's going to complain about the way this adoption was handled? Like she had NOTHING to do with the fact that our plans changed 587 times over the course of 3 months because SHE couldn't stay in one place longer than 3 days????? This was a wonderful, joyful, amazing day and she completely RUINED it with her spite and ugliness.
I tried my best not to let it bother me, but I just couldn't believe it. We'd done EVERYTHING for this woman. We weren't making her BEG for anything. We simply asked what happened to the money we gave her. It was a fair question. It made me so angry (it STILL makes me angry). I wanted this adoption to be a positive experience for everyone. I wanted Kelly to feel good about her decision. I wanted to feel good about the way we handled ourselves. It just wasn't fair.
We called Ronnie Fishbine (Georgia attorney) and told her to expect a call from Kelly. Ronnie assured us that she wasn't going to accept a revocation over the phone. "She's going to have to get a ride, find my office, walk in here and sign something to revoke consent." She also assured us that she's never dealt with anyone quite like Kelly. "In my 25 years of doing adoptions, I've never met anyone so hot and cold from one minute to the next. I'll be glad when this is done. For my sake and for yours."
The next day we called Mary. We told her about the weekend and the flight home and how Kelly texted us her "threat" to call Ronnie Fishbine. Mary said, "You guys...I've dealt with bi-polar birthmoms, birthmoms on drugs, and I've never...in 25 years...I have NEVER lost empathy for one of my birthmoms - until now. She texts me one minute that I'm the only person who really cares about her, that she really appreciates all I've done for her - then she tells me that I don't care about her and how could I leave her out here to suffer on her own? I'm like...I don't even know how to respond. It just doesn't make any sense. I feel like she HAS to be taking something. She has to be on drugs. There is just no excuse. You guys...I swear to you...I talked to her for THREE HOURS on Friday. She said she was fine. She contacts me in the middle of the night that she has nothing to eat and how could I leave her in a hotel room without a dime to feed her child...what does she want me to do? The office is CLOSED! She can't plan ahead. She can't give me a budget. I keep telling her '[Kelly] you need to give me a budget. You need to tell me how much you need.' and she can't do it. She has no idea. But I am not going to send her a check. I'm just not. Unfortunately, we're in a bit of a hostage situation until Monday, so my advice to you is to send in the check for the next 6 weeks of support and we'll just tide her over in small, continuous chunks. Then you're done. You can block her number. You can set up your phone to send back a message to her that she's been blocked. She'll get the message. You guys have done EVERYTHING that's been asked of you - and then some. You do not need to be getting anymore messages from her. You should just be relaxing and enjoying that sweet baby of yours."
Mary also told us that she's endured a lot of really hateful text messages from Kelly lately and she's done with her. After the adoption is final, she said, "I will return her messages, but not right away. I will talk to her, but mostly I want to focus on getting Sophie in to a better home. Amanda's house isn't any better. She's not any further from the sick relationship they've all got going on." Then Mary told us a story about another couple who adopted a baby last year from a couple who tested positive for drugs. They had their 2-year old taken away by the state so the adopting couple asked if they could keep the siblings together. They adopted both the baby and the 2-year old. Ryan and I looked at each other and (almost at the same time) said, if it came down to it, and the state wanted to find a more permanent solution for Sophie, that we would be interested in adopting her. Mary sounded shocked and excited. That's when we told her about the strange "I have a serious question to ask you" text from Kelly and how we'd already thought pretty seriously about it. We admitted, "At this point, we want nothing more to do with Kelly and Tony, but if it means giving Sophie a real chance at life (and getting her away from those sick, crazy people) we are totally willing to do whatever it takes." Mary wasn't sure what would happen next, but she'd keep the note in our file.
(and we're pretty sure she told us that story on purpose.)
We've held our little guy for 2 weeks now. We've fed him. We've changed his diapers. We've given him a name. We've created a room for him. We've introduced him to our friends. He even has a baby book full of stats and stories and photos. But if Kelly decides that she wants to be his mommy, she still can. She can walk in to that lawyer's office tomorrow and sign a piece of paper that says, "I changed my mind". And there's absolutely nothing we can do about it.
A part of me still wants to hang this photo in Luke's room. It made both of us cry, which made the nurse cry.
It was official! The papers were signed!! And our 10-day wait (the Georgia revocation law) could begin. We were thrilled. We snapped this photo (and yes...that's a tear-filled kleenex in my hand):
As we sat in the NICU gathering up Luke's stuff, we caught a glimpse of Tony and Kelly walking out of the hospital. She was wearing a pair of pajama pants, the t-shirt Tony was wearing two days ago, and a pair of hospital slipper-socks. They did not appear to be getting along:
I took my phone in to the next room where our favorite nurse (Janice) was caring for a set of premie twins. I showed her the text message from Kelly. She hugged me and congratulated us on our beautiful baby boy. I thanked her for everything she'd done for Luke. As I walked back in to Luke's room I noticed it was pouring down rain. (as a side note: It rained on our wedding day. It rained on our honeymoon. It rained on the day we moved in to our first house. Rain was sort of our thing.) It hadn't rained in Georgia for 3 weeks, but it rained on the day we became parents!!!! It rained for about 5 minutes. Just long enough for us to get the message "this was meant to be" from the heavens above.
We thanked the staff and got Luke all bundled up and ready to go. He looked ridiculously tiny in his car seat:
I'm not sure we've experienced a moment quite so fulfilling as taking our son out of the NICU with signed relinquishment papers from his birthparents:
We brought Luke back to Aunt Sarah's condo (my sister-in-law) and planned to stay there indefinitely. We were told that the ICPC process could take 5-7 days and we had to stay in town with Luke until we were cleared.
Over the next 48 hours, we hosted Ryan's brother, Chad:
Ryan's parents, Bev and Wayne:
And we began enduring hateful, strange, bi-polar text messages from Kelly:
If I would have known i would be sitting in a hotelwithout a dime to feed my child...i never would have done this...what hapened to after care? mary knows i have nothing...i thought provisions were gonna be made after for me and [sophie]. i cant believe.im having to plead for help 9:36pm 9/10/10
i have lost alot because of this...including probably my [sophie]...This week in the hospital was awful...i just thought everyone really cared about mine and [sophie]s well being...i shouldnt even have to ask for help now..i thought it was an automatic thing..i really feel used and discarded 9:39pm 9/10/10
I texted her immediately, "what happened? Is everything okay?" I never heard back.
Saturday afternoon, we got the following text messages:
Is there any way someone can bring me something to feed [sophie] with...i hate to ask but mary said their accountant left early on friday and i have absolutely nothing to feed [sophie] with and we are in a hotel all alone and i have nothing to feed her...i also cant get my blood pressure medicine...i hate to ask but its what it is 11:01am 9/11/10
I responded:
Wait...what happened to the $50 we gave [Amanda] for [Sophie], the $50 we gave [Tony] for gas, the $90 in gift cards, the $100 Kroger cards, and the $100 worth of stuff we bought you at Rite-Aid?11:05am 9/11/10
U know...i never saw a dime of that money..i got 2 15 dollar kroger cards...the mistake was giving that stuff to [tony]...now me and [sophie] have nothing...i was in hospital and had no control of anything...i would think mary would have told u that [tony] claimed that for himself... 12:26pm 9/11/10
I wish yall would have given the cards to me because he spent them on his gas and things he needed...now [sophie] and i are going without even eating...do u think i would make this up?its degrading to even have to ask...you all knew how [tony] was...i just wish yall would have dealt with me 12:29pm 9/11/10
We decided to call Mary. We explained about all of the hateful, guilt-laden text messages. Mary said, "I talked to her for 3 hours yesterday!! I asked her if she needed anything for the weekend and she said she was all set!!! She was all excited about a job interview on Sunday and she said everything was going great!" Mary sounded incredibly frustrated. From the very beginning, Kelly has always had a direct number to contact Mary whenever she needed her. And Mary assured us that she has always replied to Kelly every single time. Mary was supposed to be the one in control of the trust account for Kelly so there was no reason for Kelly to be contacting us about money. Especially when we'd just handed over about $400 worth of stuff on Monday. Mary could prove to us that she was on the phone with Kelly for 3 hours the day before - and that she made a special point of asking if she needed anything for the weekend. We told Mary we weren't sure how to respond to Kelly at this point. We didn't want to make her angry or argue with her, but this whole, "I don't have a dime to feed my child" stuff was getting old. We gave her money! How was it our fault that Tony stole it? We couldn't keep doing this with her.
Mary told us that Sophie was (for sure) being taken away by the state. She was going to live with Amanda on Monday, so Kelly was probably in a panic. She has to prove that she is "exercising proper parental care" before she can get her daughter back. Mary said she was sorry she wasn't in the office (it was a Saturday) but she would send money from the trust account first thing Monday morning. Meanwhile, I was still getting hateful text messages:
All [sophie] and i have been through and i cant even feed her...what a shame...this was poorly organized..sorry but this is what has happened 12:31pm 9/11/10
U know..im sorry [tony] took advantage of yall...i tried to warn everybody...hes all about himself...i dont know if yall even know this but i didnt even get all of my pain meds. the day yall bought my scripts..i have been taken advantage of by him and it breaks my heart to no end..especially for [sophie]...i cant believe he would do this to me either but at least im used to it 12:52pm 9/11/10
I decided to call Kelly. Enough was enough. It went right to voicemail (because she's too chicken to say this stuff directly to me...she has to send it in a text message). I told her that the hospital told us not to contact her, so we thought we were doing the right thing by going through Tony. We were sorry she didn't get any of the money we gave her. This is the first time we've ever done this and we were just doing what we thought was right. Then I asked her to call me so we could figure out a way to get her something to eat. Maybe have something delivered.
sorry i missed your call...can u call me in this room? the number is [###] and im in room 161...this cell phone isnt working right 1:31pm 9/11/10
We called the room but it said it's not in service. Ryan is talking to the hotel manager now.
Sorry...but im done begging for a little help..its degrading and i shouldnt be having to do it..This whole process was unprofessional...there should have been arrangements made for me and [sophie]...but there wasnt...i even have 2 prescriptions i cant get...what i need is a card that i can use...nomore calling yall for each thing i may need...i will not embarrass myself again..i hjave been through too much 1:44pm 9/11/10
Where are you in the city? We can come meet you.
U know i dont even want to see yall again because evbery time i do i feel more and more like a piece of garbage..mentally i cant handle this anymore...i shouldnt have to deal with yall...mary should have taken care of all of this..im taking [sophie] to mcdonalds to play..she needs to get out 1:49pm 9/11/10
Do you know how frustrating it is to keep giving you money when [Tony] just steals it? We are trying to do the right thing, but we have no idea how to make you happy.
Do you know how hard itis to have to ask yall for money to eat and get prescriptions..mary should have settled everything..and do u know how hard it was to be nice to [tony] so he would sign papers to give u a child? I have been used and abiused...just so he wouldnt cause me a problem...now its over almost...hes out of the pic...and now i need help. everyone is pissed...what about my feelings 2:39pm 9/11/10
Im at mcdonalds letting [sophie] play.. 2:45pm 9/11/10
Ryan is coming to meet you.
I am at the mcdonalds right near the hotel letting [sophie] play..i couldnt just make her sit there...so yall need to let me know what u want to do 3:03pm 9/11/10
Ryan is on his way.
Tell him im at the mcdonalds right near the hotel 3:05pm 9/11/10
He knows.
Ryan met Kelly at McDonald's and gave her a $50 gift card for groceries and a $20 McDonald's gift card to get her through the weekend. We didn't like it, but we didn't know what else to do. She still had the power to revoke consent and we didn't want to risk it. Minutes after he got home, Ryan got a text message from Kelly.
Thanks...sorry u had to deal with all of this. Thanks for thinking of [sophie] with the mcdonalds gift card.
We didn't hear anything else from Kelly until Tuesday night - the night we flew home. I was in the back seat of my mom's car (having just been welcomed home by an army of hugs and smiling faces) when I got these text messages from Kelly:
Just to let you all know...i dont appreciate how yall spoke to me the other day..its not my fault yall gave [tony] stuff instead of me..why shoul me and [sophie] suffer for your mistake..i will be calling ronnie fishbine tomorrow because i dont appreciate being left out here alone to begfor help 5:35pm 9/14/10
This adoption was handled very unprofessional and i tried to make it easy but begging people to help pay for my second blood pressure meds and food to eat was degrading and uncalled for..im not as dumb a person as yall think i am...well see what happens 5:40pm 9/14/10
I didn't respond at all. I didn't even know what to say. What a horrible, ungrateful human being. Now she's threatening us? After all we've been through with her - moving her from place to place - going out of our way to make sure she's comfortable and treated with respect - firing our lawyer in Topeka because she didn't like the way he talked to her and moving her in the middle of the night - meeting her crazy friend and insane boyfriend at Burger King on a random Sunday afternoon after they threatened to "make things difficult" for us - cleaning up the disaster of a room she left us in Kansas City - answering her every text and phonecall with kindness and generosity....now she's going to complain about the way this adoption was handled? Like she had NOTHING to do with the fact that our plans changed 587 times over the course of 3 months because SHE couldn't stay in one place longer than 3 days????? This was a wonderful, joyful, amazing day and she completely RUINED it with her spite and ugliness.
I tried my best not to let it bother me, but I just couldn't believe it. We'd done EVERYTHING for this woman. We weren't making her BEG for anything. We simply asked what happened to the money we gave her. It was a fair question. It made me so angry (it STILL makes me angry). I wanted this adoption to be a positive experience for everyone. I wanted Kelly to feel good about her decision. I wanted to feel good about the way we handled ourselves. It just wasn't fair.
We called Ronnie Fishbine (Georgia attorney) and told her to expect a call from Kelly. Ronnie assured us that she wasn't going to accept a revocation over the phone. "She's going to have to get a ride, find my office, walk in here and sign something to revoke consent." She also assured us that she's never dealt with anyone quite like Kelly. "In my 25 years of doing adoptions, I've never met anyone so hot and cold from one minute to the next. I'll be glad when this is done. For my sake and for yours."
The next day we called Mary. We told her about the weekend and the flight home and how Kelly texted us her "threat" to call Ronnie Fishbine. Mary said, "You guys...I've dealt with bi-polar birthmoms, birthmoms on drugs, and I've never...in 25 years...I have NEVER lost empathy for one of my birthmoms - until now. She texts me one minute that I'm the only person who really cares about her, that she really appreciates all I've done for her - then she tells me that I don't care about her and how could I leave her out here to suffer on her own? I'm like...I don't even know how to respond. It just doesn't make any sense. I feel like she HAS to be taking something. She has to be on drugs. There is just no excuse. You guys...I swear to you...I talked to her for THREE HOURS on Friday. She said she was fine. She contacts me in the middle of the night that she has nothing to eat and how could I leave her in a hotel room without a dime to feed her child...what does she want me to do? The office is CLOSED! She can't plan ahead. She can't give me a budget. I keep telling her '[Kelly] you need to give me a budget. You need to tell me how much you need.' and she can't do it. She has no idea. But I am not going to send her a check. I'm just not. Unfortunately, we're in a bit of a hostage situation until Monday, so my advice to you is to send in the check for the next 6 weeks of support and we'll just tide her over in small, continuous chunks. Then you're done. You can block her number. You can set up your phone to send back a message to her that she's been blocked. She'll get the message. You guys have done EVERYTHING that's been asked of you - and then some. You do not need to be getting anymore messages from her. You should just be relaxing and enjoying that sweet baby of yours."
Mary also told us that she's endured a lot of really hateful text messages from Kelly lately and she's done with her. After the adoption is final, she said, "I will return her messages, but not right away. I will talk to her, but mostly I want to focus on getting Sophie in to a better home. Amanda's house isn't any better. She's not any further from the sick relationship they've all got going on." Then Mary told us a story about another couple who adopted a baby last year from a couple who tested positive for drugs. They had their 2-year old taken away by the state so the adopting couple asked if they could keep the siblings together. They adopted both the baby and the 2-year old. Ryan and I looked at each other and (almost at the same time) said, if it came down to it, and the state wanted to find a more permanent solution for Sophie, that we would be interested in adopting her. Mary sounded shocked and excited. That's when we told her about the strange "I have a serious question to ask you" text from Kelly and how we'd already thought pretty seriously about it. We admitted, "At this point, we want nothing more to do with Kelly and Tony, but if it means giving Sophie a real chance at life (and getting her away from those sick, crazy people) we are totally willing to do whatever it takes." Mary wasn't sure what would happen next, but she'd keep the note in our file.
(and we're pretty sure she told us that story on purpose.)
We've held our little guy for 2 weeks now. We've fed him. We've changed his diapers. We've given him a name. We've created a room for him. We've introduced him to our friends. He even has a baby book full of stats and stories and photos. But if Kelly decides that she wants to be his mommy, she still can. She can walk in to that lawyer's office tomorrow and sign a piece of paper that says, "I changed my mind". And there's absolutely nothing we can do about it.
Friday, September 17, 2010
homecoming
My incredibly talented cousin, Shannon (of baby day photography) took all of these photos and created this video for us. SO much easier than telling you how amazing it was to see all of our friends and family waiting there at the gate.
It feels SO good to be home!
It feels SO good to be home!
Monday, September 13, 2010
party at the airport
We're coming home! We got the word today that ICPC cleared and we are on a plane tomorrow!!! There are so many blog entries that I haven't written (and I promise to put them in here eventually) but there's no way I can stay up and get them all done tonight. I've got a suitcase to pack full of tiny little onesies!!!
LUKE IS COMING HOME!!!!!
LUKE IS COMING HOME!!!!!
Sunday, September 12, 2010
kangaroo care = magic
September 6, 2010
The day began at 7am with a call from Tony (from Kelly's phone, of course). I suppose he felt like we'd really "bonded" the day before, so he felt completely comfortable calling me directly to ask for some gift cards and support for Kelly. "Ah wanna do right by her. An ah wanna make shur shees got food an munie fur close. Shees geddin out tuday. Docturs cumin tuh checker blud preshur rill soon." I told him we were happy to help, and as soon as Ryan gets back from the airport, we would go get some gift cards and meet them at the hospital. He called back 3 or 4 times in the next 30 minutes to confirm that we were going buy some gift cards and meet them at the hospital around noon. I wasn't sure what part of my message was confusing, but I tried really hard not to let him hear the frustration in my voice (we'd worked so hard to repair our relationship yesterday, I didn't want my "tone" to send him in to a rage).
After calling and confirming our plans with Ryan, I texted Kelly (knowing that it was probably Tony) that "we still have a trust account set up with Mary to get you through the next 6 weeks - whatever you will need to heal and be comfortable. We'll give her a call in a few hours (still 6am in california) to start paying your rent through the trust. We will also meet you at the hospital by noon to say good-bye and shower you with gifts! :) "
The day began at 7am with a call from Tony (from Kelly's phone, of course). I suppose he felt like we'd really "bonded" the day before, so he felt completely comfortable calling me directly to ask for some gift cards and support for Kelly. "Ah wanna do right by her. An ah wanna make shur shees got food an munie fur close. Shees geddin out tuday. Docturs cumin tuh checker blud preshur rill soon." I told him we were happy to help, and as soon as Ryan gets back from the airport, we would go get some gift cards and meet them at the hospital. He called back 3 or 4 times in the next 30 minutes to confirm that we were going buy some gift cards and meet them at the hospital around noon. I wasn't sure what part of my message was confusing, but I tried really hard not to let him hear the frustration in my voice (we'd worked so hard to repair our relationship yesterday, I didn't want my "tone" to send him in to a rage).
After calling and confirming our plans with Ryan, I texted Kelly (knowing that it was probably Tony) that "we still have a trust account set up with Mary to get you through the next 6 weeks - whatever you will need to heal and be comfortable. We'll give her a call in a few hours (still 6am in california) to start paying your rent through the trust. We will also meet you at the hospital by noon to say good-bye and shower you with gifts! :) "
Tony immediately called back and asked "did you just send that message?" to confirm (again) that we were going to support Kelly when she got out of the hospital and meet them at noon. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. We are going to meet you at the hospital. We are going to bring gift cards. Calm DOWN!
I texted Ryan (on his way to pick up Shannon at the airport) that I also wanted to give Kelly a bouquet of happy balloons since (Tony told us) she hates flowers. Ryan and Shannon picked up $200 in gift cards, a Get Well balloon for Kelly, and a Dora balloon for Sophie on their way back from the airport. When we got to the hospital, Luke was in the NICU. We weren't alarmed, but they explained that since his birthmom had checked herself out, the baby needed to be under strict supervision (not that she'd even seen him or held him since that first night, but I guess that's the hospital policy). The nurse walked us down the hall to the elevator and then up to the security doors on the 3rd floor. She explained that we were going to need to scrub in before we entered the NICU - and sure enough, there was a giant sink with individually packaged surgical scrub brushes and files to clean under our fingernails. We felt like we were going in to surgery.
The nurses in the NICU were incredibly protective (as well they should be) of the babies. Ryan and I explained that we were Luke's "adoptive parents" and one of the nurses looked at us like she might have to call someone to see if we were allowed to be there. We explained that we'd been visiting him in the mother/baby nursery for the last 3 days and the only reason he was up here was because his mom checked herself out early (and clearly we were the ones who cared since we were the ones visiting him). She pointed to Shannon and asked, "Who's this?" and we all replied at the same time, "This is Shannon/I'm the cousin/She's our photographer" which confused the nurse even further. I was reminded of what Kelly told us about people in the south just not understanding or supporting adoption. Mary thought maybe this wasn't an adoption-friendly hospital.
The nurse told Shannon that she was not allowed to stay very long because she wasn't an immediate family member, then she gave us the run-down of who WAS allowed in the NICU. We followed her back to a private little room in the corner where Luke was sleeping in an isolette. Seeing Luke in the NICU was not alarming because he wasn't hooked up to anything, but I imagined it might be difficult to say "NICU" to our families without freaking them out just a little.
Luke looked great. He was completely out of his blankets, so we could finally appreciate every little inch of him. His skinny arms, his giant feet, his slender fingers...he was pink and absolutely perfect. We all watched him breathe as Nurse Janice explained all of the numbers on his monitor. Then we explained to Janice that Shannon had just flown in from Kansas and she was only in town for 48 hours. We asked if there was any way to trade off - that one of us could go out to the waiting room so Shannon could stay and take pictures. Janice didn't actually seem to mind if Shannon was in there, but she wanted to check with Luke's doctor and the other nurse who was caring for Luke's "roommate" - an 11 lb baby named Ethan who was hooked up to a feeding tube...sleeping under bili lights...receiving medicine through an IV. Ethan currently had 3 visitors in his room, including two grandparents staring at him through the glass door and a little brother named Aiden who was running and jumping in to the curtain that separated us. Surely, tiny little Shannon with her camera was not going to upset the apple-cart.
The nurse told Shannon that she was not allowed to stay very long because she wasn't an immediate family member, then she gave us the run-down of who WAS allowed in the NICU. We followed her back to a private little room in the corner where Luke was sleeping in an isolette. Seeing Luke in the NICU was not alarming because he wasn't hooked up to anything, but I imagined it might be difficult to say "NICU" to our families without freaking them out just a little.
Luke looked great. He was completely out of his blankets, so we could finally appreciate every little inch of him. His skinny arms, his giant feet, his slender fingers...he was pink and absolutely perfect. We all watched him breathe as Nurse Janice explained all of the numbers on his monitor. Then we explained to Janice that Shannon had just flown in from Kansas and she was only in town for 48 hours. We asked if there was any way to trade off - that one of us could go out to the waiting room so Shannon could stay and take pictures. Janice didn't actually seem to mind if Shannon was in there, but she wanted to check with Luke's doctor and the other nurse who was caring for Luke's "roommate" - an 11 lb baby named Ethan who was hooked up to a feeding tube...sleeping under bili lights...receiving medicine through an IV. Ethan currently had 3 visitors in his room, including two grandparents staring at him through the glass door and a little brother named Aiden who was running and jumping in to the curtain that separated us. Surely, tiny little Shannon with her camera was not going to upset the apple-cart.
Janice left the room and Shannon said, "I'm surprised. I really didn't think they'd let me in here. But maybe since Luke's not sick, they'll be a little more lenient?" Just then, Janice returned with a paper towel in her hand. She said, "Okay...I talked to Luke's doctor and she said, if we fill out this official form, we can call Shannon your approved support person while she's in town." We all looked at the paper towel and smiled at Janice. She was awesome. And she continued to be awesome - waving and smiling at us every time we walked through the doors - even if her patient was on the other side of the room. She made it possible for Shannon to be in there with us and she made our time in the NICU really special.
I looked at the clock and noticed it was almost noon. Time to meet Tony downstairs with our balloons and gift cards. I looked at my phone. I had 5 missed calls from Kelly. Ryan looked at his phone. He had 4 messages. They were ALL from Tony (from Kelly's phone). We went out to the lobby where Janice was telling us about Luke's feeding schedule and the blood work they were going to do. I answered a call from Brandon. He and Sarah were at the hospital. Ryan said he would go down there and meet them after he delivered Kelly's balloons and gifts. My phone rang. It was Tony. He and Kelly were waiting downstairs too. Kelly was checked out and ready to go. I said, "Okay...Ryan will be right down". I hung up and Ryan's phone immediately rang. It was Tony. "Okay, man...I'll be right down." Good lord, dude. We're COMING!!!!
I looked at the clock and noticed it was almost noon. Time to meet Tony downstairs with our balloons and gift cards. I looked at my phone. I had 5 missed calls from Kelly. Ryan looked at his phone. He had 4 messages. They were ALL from Tony (from Kelly's phone). We went out to the lobby where Janice was telling us about Luke's feeding schedule and the blood work they were going to do. I answered a call from Brandon. He and Sarah were at the hospital. Ryan said he would go down there and meet them after he delivered Kelly's balloons and gifts. My phone rang. It was Tony. He and Kelly were waiting downstairs too. Kelly was checked out and ready to go. I said, "Okay...Ryan will be right down". I hung up and Ryan's phone immediately rang. It was Tony. "Okay, man...I'll be right down." Good lord, dude. We're COMING!!!!
Shannon and I waited upstairs for Ryan to come back. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of silver outside and realized it was Ryan - running with the mylar balloons to greet Tony and Kelly in the circle drive. Shannon snapped some pictures and we watched from the window as Ryan hugged them good-bye. I suddenly became aware that this might be the last time I ever see them. "I wonder if I should have said good-bye" and then laughed at my attempt to sound genuine. As I watched them drive away, I saw Ryan walking in with Sarah and Brandon. We knew they wouldn't be allowed to see Luke in the NICU and it made us glad they'd been there to hold him and love him for the last 3 days.
They brought us Chick-fil-a and we sat in the lobby, talking about Tony and Kelly and how nice it will be to have them out of the hospital. We wanted a real chance to bond with Luke and it was causing way too much stress, knowing they could just walk around the corner any second. Brandon had to be at the airport by 3:00, so they decided to go to Target to buy some air mattresses and an abundance of pillows and comforters - then drop Brandon off. Ryan decided he'd go with them (and pay for the air mattresses) since we'd be hosting several waves of visitors in the next few days. Shannon and I went back to the NICU in time to talk to Dr. Lipson, the pediatrician who saw Luke on the first day. Janice walked in at the same time and assured Dr. Lipson that all of the right papers were signed - she could finally disclose specific medical information to me. As I stood there listening to the doctor, I started to feel something I'd never felt before...something I'd waited my whole life to feel. The doctor was talking to me about Luke's blood work and his body temperature, and for the very first time, somebody was talking to me like a mom.
I'm a mom.
I'm Luke's mom.
A social worker named Yanni walked in and asked how things were going. I told her that everyone in the hospital had been amazing, minus the nurse from yesterday. I told her it really upset us that she felt the need to remind us that he was not "ours" for 10 days - that it was completely unnecessary. Yanni looked mortified. "Do you know her name?"
"It was Sarah. She was Kelly's nurse from yesterday and she went out of her way to find us on the 4th floor while we were holding Luke. She completely ruined our day."
(matter of factly) "You need to file a formal complaint with the hospital. This should be a magical time for you. Her comments were totally inappropriate and they certainly do not reflect the standards of this hospital."
I told her (again) that everyone else has been really wonderful and we were ready to write a letter to the staff, thanking them for their excellent care and sensitivity until that happened.
She asked me again to please file a formal complaint. "That's the only way this hospital can officially do anything about what happened and try to repair it.”
As she walked away, Shannon congratulated me on saying something - that I'd done the right thing and I'd gone through the proper channels. I felt good about everything that had happened that whole morning. We'd given Kelly and Tony everything they needed to get through the next few weeks, we'd finally been treated like Luke's parents by the staff at the hospital, we'd spoken up for ourselves about that horrible nurse, and now Janice was gathering hospital gowns and blankets so I could experience something called kangaroo care with my precious little bundle.
If you’ve never heard of kangaroo care, it’s the most magical thing to ever happen between a mommy and her baby. I was given the chance to hold my son using a hospital gown pulled around me with Luke laying directly on my chest. The benefits were immediate – Luke took 25 mL of formula after 30 minutes of skin-to-skin contact...the most we'd seen him eat at one time. My body temperature helped to regulate his body temperature so he didn't have to stay in the isolette (or the hospital) quite as long. It could have been the fact that Kelly and Tony checked themselves out of the hospital early (against doctor's orders), but our stress levels were down by about 195% that day. Shannon was there to take pictures and capture the whole thing, so (as much as I enjoy taking pictures and documenting our journey) it helped me just relax and enjoy the experience because I knew her photos would be AMAZING!!!
And they were.
Ryan returned from Target in time to see Luke curled up against me and we had a special little moment to take some family photos. I explained to Ryan what Dr. Lipson had explained to me (that Luke had to maintain his body temperature for 24 hours outside of the isolette before we could take him home). I also told him how amazing this kangaroo care thing was and how he HAD to do it. Shannon added, "the therapists at work talk about how the results have been proven just as effective with dads as it is with moms". Ryan seemed excited. It was pure bliss.
The three of us decided to go get lunch. There was a Mexican food place down the street and some chips and salsa sounded perfect. Maybe a margarita?
They brought us Chick-fil-a and we sat in the lobby, talking about Tony and Kelly and how nice it will be to have them out of the hospital. We wanted a real chance to bond with Luke and it was causing way too much stress, knowing they could just walk around the corner any second. Brandon had to be at the airport by 3:00, so they decided to go to Target to buy some air mattresses and an abundance of pillows and comforters - then drop Brandon off. Ryan decided he'd go with them (and pay for the air mattresses) since we'd be hosting several waves of visitors in the next few days. Shannon and I went back to the NICU in time to talk to Dr. Lipson, the pediatrician who saw Luke on the first day. Janice walked in at the same time and assured Dr. Lipson that all of the right papers were signed - she could finally disclose specific medical information to me. As I stood there listening to the doctor, I started to feel something I'd never felt before...something I'd waited my whole life to feel. The doctor was talking to me about Luke's blood work and his body temperature, and for the very first time, somebody was talking to me like a mom.
I'm a mom.
I'm Luke's mom.
A social worker named Yanni walked in and asked how things were going. I told her that everyone in the hospital had been amazing, minus the nurse from yesterday. I told her it really upset us that she felt the need to remind us that he was not "ours" for 10 days - that it was completely unnecessary. Yanni looked mortified. "Do you know her name?"
"It was Sarah. She was Kelly's nurse from yesterday and she went out of her way to find us on the 4th floor while we were holding Luke. She completely ruined our day."
(matter of factly) "You need to file a formal complaint with the hospital. This should be a magical time for you. Her comments were totally inappropriate and they certainly do not reflect the standards of this hospital."
I told her (again) that everyone else has been really wonderful and we were ready to write a letter to the staff, thanking them for their excellent care and sensitivity until that happened.
She asked me again to please file a formal complaint. "That's the only way this hospital can officially do anything about what happened and try to repair it.”
As she walked away, Shannon congratulated me on saying something - that I'd done the right thing and I'd gone through the proper channels. I felt good about everything that had happened that whole morning. We'd given Kelly and Tony everything they needed to get through the next few weeks, we'd finally been treated like Luke's parents by the staff at the hospital, we'd spoken up for ourselves about that horrible nurse, and now Janice was gathering hospital gowns and blankets so I could experience something called kangaroo care with my precious little bundle.
And they were.
Ryan returned from Target in time to see Luke curled up against me and we had a special little moment to take some family photos. I explained to Ryan what Dr. Lipson had explained to me (that Luke had to maintain his body temperature for 24 hours outside of the isolette before we could take him home). I also told him how amazing this kangaroo care thing was and how he HAD to do it. Shannon added, "the therapists at work talk about how the results have been proven just as effective with dads as it is with moms". Ryan seemed excited. It was pure bliss.
The three of us decided to go get lunch. There was a Mexican food place down the street and some chips and salsa sounded perfect. Maybe a margarita?
We got back from lunch and scrubbed up:
Luke ate 40mL and gave us some huge (albeit) involuntary smiles. It was exactly what we needed.
Before we left the hospital, we stopped by the nurses' station on the 4th floor to file our formal complaint against the evil nurse, Sarah. Yanni told us that a nurse named Kim was expecting us, and sure enough, she took down our statement and assured us that Sarah was entirely out of line. The hospital would take our feedback very seriously.
We got back to Brandon and Sarah's around 8pm and decided we were in for the night. We fixed ourselves several glasses of wine and watched most of Glee (Season One) on DVD as Shannon loaded up her photos and created these videos:
Before we left the hospital, we stopped by the nurses' station on the 4th floor to file our formal complaint against the evil nurse, Sarah. Yanni told us that a nurse named Kim was expecting us, and sure enough, she took down our statement and assured us that Sarah was entirely out of line. The hospital would take our feedback very seriously.
We got back to Brandon and Sarah's around 8pm and decided we were in for the night. We fixed ourselves several glasses of wine and watched most of Glee (Season One) on DVD as Shannon loaded up her photos and created these videos:
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)