Tuesday, August 31, 2010

a relationship built entirely on text messages and pizza delivery

On Friday, August 27th, our birthmom was safely moved to a secret location, far away from the crazies (well...10 miles away, but they don't know that). I took Friday off because I had a fever and a sore throat (a lethal combination of stress, lack of sleep, an airplane ride and a sky-high ragweed count - thanks a lot, Kansas!) so while I thought I could relax in bed and sleep all day, instead I answered no less than 35 phone calls. (I swear...we try for days and days to get ahold of Mary but the one day I'm home, sick in bed, she calls relentlessly for 24 hours.)

It started with a conference call to make sure we were all on the same page - that Kelly would be moving to an extended stay near her brother's house. Yes. Then there was a call to confirm the payment plan to the extended stay. It varied. Then there was a call to confirm payment to a pre-paid credit card to be delivered to Kelly the next day. Cool. Then there was a call to explain how the lady at the extended stay who authorizes the payments over the phone was in jury duty and the guy in the office (who was super nice) needed some information faxed over. Do I look like the kind of girl who has a fax machine in her living room?  We needed to call this guy (who was super nice) and explain to him that we were putting the first week's rent on our credit card. Ugh. So then I called Ryan (who was running around his office, trying to do his job while answering phone calls and writing checks to get them sent off to California) but he had to call and talk to this guy because I WAS DONE.

NO MORE PHONE CALLS!!

There was talk for a while about our sister-in-law, Sarah being the one who might remove Kelly and Sophie from the crazy house (Sarah is a former OPPD detective and is currently training with the FBI in Georgia so she has excellent "dealing with crazy people" skills) but Sarah was training 4 hours away and it didn't make any sense for her to drive 4 hours to deposit them 10 miles up the road. She was willing!  In fact, she mentioned she might enjoy the chance to kick some crazy-people right in the teeth, but it just wasn't going to work out with her schedule.

I worked my way in to a Benedryl coma and when I woke up, Ryan was home. The drama still wasn't over, as the guy at the extended stay needed a copy of our credit card faxed over for a reason I still don't understand (because of the Benedryl) so I sat on the couch in a fog while Ryan ran around the house trying to hook up the scanner/printer/fax machine to our laptop (in the living room) and get the information to him by 5:30. Which he did.

At 6:08, I texted Kelly to say:

"We heard you got all checked in! Sleep well in your new place and please call us if you need anything!"

1 minute later she texted back:
"Well...i cant get ahold of mary...this place is just like the last..not a single dish. i only have dinner to cook for [sophie] and i tonight.  i love [sophie]"

(seriously?)

"My brother bought me chicken and rice and peas for tonight andtheres nothing to cook in...so its not starting off too good.icant feed [sophie]. i love [sophie]"

I turned to Ryan and asked, "Is 'i love [sophie]' the thing she's writing now so we know it's her and not Tony?"

"I think so."

"She says she doesn't have any food or dishes or pots to cook in."

"Can she borrow one from her brother?"


"Probably. I just don't want her to freak out and call Tony and Amanda. We have to figure something out or she'll panic and go running back to crazy town."

"Well...I don't know what to do! She just has to get through tonight. Did she think there would be a hot meal waiting for her on the table when she got there?  What can we do? Order her a pizza?"

I texted her:
"Mary sent a prepaid credit card to arrive tomorrow morning for groceries and dishes and anything else you need. Is there any way you can borrow a pan from your brother just for tonight? There will be plenty of money on that card if you can get through tonight? Or we can call pizza hut and have a pizza delivered to you?  Pre-paid??"

"I didn't know that ..mary hadnt told me..i only got half of your message.is someone coming here. i love [sophie]"

"The card should have plenty of money on it for anything you'll need. Can you borrow a pan from your brother just for tonight?"

"My brothers girlfriend left him and took the dishes...its funny if u knew her..i have about 3 dollars in change so ill take [sophie] to store Am i gonna be meeting someone tomorrow? i love [sophie]"

I turned to Ryan, "Does she think Sarah is coming tomorrow to take her grocery shopping?"

"Who knows."

I texted her back:
"No, the card should come in the mail. Either fedex or ups. Do you want us to order a pizza and have it delivered to you? Pre-paid?"

"Is that possible?would that be strange?sounds good really..im just embarrassed..yall really dont mind. i love [sophie]"

"Not at all! We'll call the pizza hut near you and have it delivered. What would you like on it?"

"Yall are funny..well pepperoni and italian sausage is what we get...yall are so sweet...im in room304 by the way. i love [sophie]"

Ryan got on the laptop and looked up the nearest Pizza Hut (we had her new address because we'd just faxed a week's worth of rent to her new "landlord".)  He called the Pizza Hut and explained that we were in Kansas and we wanted to order a pizza and have it delivered to someone without her getting any record of our last name or our credit card information. No problem.

"We ordered the pizza. It will be there in about an hour. It's all paid, even the tip. Enjoy! :)"

"Wow..yall really are very kind people..thank u so much...i have tears in my eyes...yall have a good night...call me when you would like..i love [sophie]"

(No phonecalls for awhile, my friend...sorry.)


She texted us an hour later:
"Pizza just got here...thank u so much. i love [sophie]"

"You're welcome! :)"

"Yall are the best...have a good weekend...call when you can. i love [sophie]"

"Do you have a way to get groceries tomorrow? Are you within walking distance to a grocery store? Or wal-mart?"

"Sorry..just gave [sophie] a bath didnt see message...were not within walking didtance but i could probably take a cab for 5 dollars if brother cant. i love [sophie]"

"The credit card should be there tomorrow so you can pay for the cab that way. Just ask them when you call if they accept credit cards."

"Ok...im gonna see if my brother will come take us. hes actually right near by..thats why i chose this area.he works some weekends though. i love [sophie]"

(the next morning)
"The card came and i really want to thank you. thank you so much for helping me with my daughter and caring if we are ok...maybe we can talk 2 nite. i love [sophie]"

"You're very welcome! Now go have some fun and shop for whatever you guys need. :)"

"Ok...just call me in the room304...or on cell phone when yall get a chance. i love [sophie]"

We haven't called or texted since Saturday afternoon, so we're just crossing our fingers that everything is fine. She's either in a total state of panic - climbing the walls because there's no drama to keep her brain spinning or she's totally mellowed out - sitting on the couch eating name brand peanut butter and watching cartoons.  Even if I wanted to call and talk to her, I've managed to lose my voice from all of the coughing. My "sore throat and fever" amped itself up to laryngitis and I sound like a phlegmy version of Kathleen Turner. Kinda sexy if not for all of the mucus and raging headaches.

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