We got a call from Mary today and she's been getting text messages from Kelly as well. Basically, Kelly still really wants to place this baby with us. Through all of her craziness, complaining and changing her mind, she has been consistent about one thing - she wants this baby to go home with us. We are "it" for her (which is good to know).
And it turns out, the delay in hearing anything back from Mary (though annoying and frustrating) has worked in our favor. Technically, we have been "responsibility-free" for almost 4 days and have paid nothing this month to support whatever habits Kelly may or may not have (Mary does not suspect a drug habit and neither does Ryan, but we requested a blood test anyway). We will get the results of that before we decide to continue. We also got the deposit back from the room she trashed at the extended stay, so that was a good thing. (We found out they tried to sneak Amanda's 12 year old Australian Shephard in to the hotel on Sunday - in addition to smoking in the room and ashing in the nightstand. Did I mention it was right next to the Bible? I mean, they only missed by a couple of inches.) Kelly was there for less than 48 hours and the hotel manager knew exactly who she was.
The unexpected (financial) bonuses of Kelly leaving when she did: 1. we hadn't signed a 3 month lease yet 2. we hadn't gone to the trouble of furnishing an entire apartment for her 3. we hadn't retained a lawyer yet 4. we hadn't bought any new (perishable) groceries for her in a while 5. we didn't shell out $1500 up-front (out-of-pocket) for 3 months of doctor visits and pre-natal care that she would never use 6. we didn't have to pay for her flight back to Georgia (or Sophie's). Not that we think she's better off (mentally) where she is, but she did save us a boat-load if she was just going to pick up and leave anyway. (we think she craves the drama - and I think that was a nice way to put it.)
Of course, now we're making a pro/con list for sticking with this adoption plan vs. starting over, but all of that hangs on the fact that Kelly has to pass a drug test and she has to show us an updated sonogram. In fact, while we were talking to Mary, she got a text from Kelly that she was at the hospital. (which could mean she was just AT the hospital...like, in the gift shop or something, or she could have been there for Sophie or she was there for some emergency back surgery for Tony, or she could have been there because something is wrong with the baby, but whatever...we aren't even guessing anymore. Mary was going to investigate and get back to us.)
Mary also promised that she would investigate the living situation and we could evaluate what we're able to contribute (financially) to her living expenses each month. We are legally obligated to provide $$ for her rent, food, phone, utilities, etc. until the baby is born, so we can't just say "we won't pay". It's not an option for any match - it just depends on who you get, how they live and what their expenses are. If we start over, we could get matched with a 16 year old girl who is 2 days away from delivering, she lives at home with her parents, and she is covered under her parents' insurance or we could get matched with another 37 year old woman who is still 10 weeks away from delivering, she lives in an apartment with her jobless boyfriend, and she still hasn't applied for Medicaid. That's the risk we take.
We expect to hear back from Mary by the end of the day, but we aren't in any hurry now. We think we might drag our feet a little bit and see if we can get away with not paying for Kelly's coffee and Coke diet for most of August. Besides, we might need that money if this baby needs tons of surgery (you know...for the brittle bone disease).